“How you love yourself, is how you treat others to love you,” says Rupi Kaur.
Can we talk about this for a bit?
If you’re reading this blog post, let me congratulate you for showing up for me outside of Instagram! Listen, it’s easy to double-tap a post on your feed. It’s another ballgame to mindfully navigate my site to read a post. The fact that you’re here means that you willingly and intentionally showed up. For this, I thank you for rocking with me!
In honor of Wellness Wednesday, I posted Six ways to practice self-love. When we treat ourselves as kind as we treat others in our lives, studies show we enjoy fuller and healthier lives – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The six ways I posted for you to show yourself self-love are: 1) Practice Meditation, Prayer, and/ or Mindfulness, 2) Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, 3) Stop comparing yourself to others, 4) Get used to practicing gratitude, 5) Eat healthier, and 6) Get used to scheduling your needs. Read further as I expound on these six practices.
Meditation, Prayer, and/ or Mindfulness
At the very least, mindfulness is the practice of being present. Think about it, how often are we fully present in the moment? For example, while attending our child’s basketball game, we’re trying to figure out what’s for dinner. Or we’re racking our brains on how that rude co-worker said something offensive in a meeting earlier. Through the practice of being present in the moment, we’re giving our brains a break; we immerse ourselves in the moment at hand. Plus, there are many scientific benefits when implementing any of these practices, from lowering depression & anxiety to better productivity at work and more focus. Suppose you’re interested in beginning a mediation or mindfulness regime. In that case, I recommend using the Headspace and/ or Calm apps (The calm app is my personal favorite).
Set Boundaries like a Boss!
An elementary act of self-love is knowing when and how to say no. Saying no helps minimize overextending ourselves. Then secretly regretting our “kindheartedness” later! Let me help you. If a decision can negatively impact your mental health later, don’t worry about how saying no will be received by those to whom the word is given. Ultimately, if they have your best intentions, the word no wouldn’t be offensive. Setting boundaries when you’re not used to doing so at first can be difficult, but let me tell you, the more you say no – the easier it becomes. If you’ve been following me for some time now, I believe the word no is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation. So, don’t worry about offering one. If you are wondering which boundaries have been blurred and when is the best time to begin re-establishing them. It’s simple – pay attention to your TRUE FEELINGS. Why do you question it if you don’t like being in a specific company, or you’re sure people consistently take advantage of your kindness? You feel this way for a reason! Practice saying no to these people and situations so you can say yes to doing things you genuinely enjoy.
Stop comparing yourself to others
We receive messages every day about how our lives should be. From body images to the best careers to the amount of square footage our homes should be. We’re bombarded with false standards by which we compare our lives! If you want to know the best way to continuously be discontent – it’s to compare ourselves to others. Do you know the best way to be content? Compare yourself only to yourself. Suppose you’re constantly working on becoming the best version of yourself. In that case, you won’t have enough time to compare yourself to others.
Get used to practicing gratitude
People who practice gratitude have been known to experience better emotional health, have improved health statistics, and have stronger relationships than those around them. In addition, as we become more aware of the good things happening in our daily lives, it becomes easier to weather difficult times because we’re mindful of the temporariness of hardship. Some ways to practice gratitude include keeping a daily gratitude journal or pausing a second to take mental notes of the good moments in our lives. Here’s the thing, as we stop to appreciate what we already have in life, we realize what we have is almost always enough.
Eat healthier
Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat?” I’m not sure if the person who authored this statement understood how true it was! If you’re feeding yourself junk, then you’ll feel like it. And likewise, if you’re eating foods that fuel your body, you’ll have lots of energy to do what you need and want to do. Studies show that humans vastly underestimate the amount of food they consume in a single day. I recommend keeping a food journal and writing down how your body feels physically, mentally, and emotionally in the two hours after consumption. You’ll start to notice patterns. I learned that when I fed myself junk foods, I felt the worst – mentally, physically, and emotionally. Research has shown a direct correlation between the gut and the mind (but I’m not a scientist, so I suggest some independent research here). If you want to be kind to your mind, start by being aware of what you put into your mouth.
Get used to scheduling your needs
Listen, our calendars fill up QUICKLY. From chauffeuring the children to their activities to supporting our spouses to attending business meetings, our needs will be neglected if we’re not intentional about practicing self-love. Unfortunately, when we do this, we are, in part, sending the same message to those around us that it’s alright to do the same – to neglect us. It is NOT okay to ignore your needs, and it’s not okay for others to do the same. So, schedule your time to exercise. Schedule the time to practice mindfulness and/ or prayer. Schedule the time you’re going to read a book or anything else that makes you happy and is your priority. Hear me now and hear me good – schedule your “me time” before your calendar fills up with other people’s “me time”!
You’re a priority and when you make this known to those closest to you, guess what happens? They will, in turn, begin making you a priority too. And, if they are unwilling to get on board by chance, then keep moving forward…without them. And let me tell you, the glow that comes from loving yourself properly is unlike anything else.
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